Grace Amidst Pain

Most of you who read my blog already know what transpired this weekend, but I thought I would write about it, simply because I have explained the situation to so many people already this week, but have not had time to really talk about my experience. I don't recount any of this to incite a pity party or simply to make you feel sorry for me. I just want to be able to explain to anyone who cares what actually happened, and to process this experience.

It started on Friday evening when my sister, Jane and I went out to dinner. I have suffered from chronic acid reflux in the last few years, but it has never been serious enough for my doctor to have any major concerns. When we began eating, I felt extremely normal. But after a few bites I began to feel the familiar burning sensation in my throat and immediately ran to the bathroom, where, on a normal day, I simply pace about until the burning subsides. This was not a normal day however. I will spare you the grotesque details, but needless to say I vomited. A lot. And experienced a pain level for the acid burning that was entirely new to me. I tried to drink some water from the faucet. My body simply rejected it. Thankfully there weren't a whole lot of people in the restaurant who needed to use the bathroom. I was in there for a full half hour. It finally began to settle and I was able to rejoin my rather anxious party. I found my glass of water still sitting on the table. I wanted so badly to drink it, but fear of repeating the scene I had so recently concluded prevented me at first. However I eventually summoned the courage and took a sip. I was alright. I thought that the worst had past. I soon realized that I was actually quite hungry because I really hadn't had anything to eat. We drove to downtown Brea to see if we could catch a movie, but the stupid theatre had awful show times. We walked across the street to Coldstone Ice Cream, where I convinced my sister to buy me a "second dinner." What a horrible choice I made just then. Not only to try and eat again so soon, but to guilt my sister into spending money she couldn't spend. The first few bites were fine. But then the burning and pain followed. It was happening all over again. I asked the girls if we could just go home, and they readily agreed. After about another half hour, the pain died down, but it remained minimally; flaring up once in a while. When I went to bed, I couldn't sleep. I finally couldn't stand the pain any longer and went and woke up may dad at about 2 am. He went out to the store and bought some Maylanta, hoping it would help. Once again, I couldn't keep the Maylanta or water down and my dad decided it was time to take me to the emergency room.

Even at 3 am, we still had quite a wait to get into the ER. Although, admittedly it was a Friday night/Saturday morning. Need I say more? Anyways, we sat in the lobby for a while, mindlessly watching the lobby television as it played one of the worst movies ever to waste film: "Anaconda II." But, at least it kept me preoccupied. When I was finally ushered into a ER room, the nurse came and gave me some more Maylanta with some Lidocaine in it to help reduce the acid and dull the pain. However, once I drank it, it immediately and exponentially magnified the pain. The doctor arrived soon, realizing how much pain I was in and that I was dehydrated, ordered an IV and some morphine. Although I am not frightened of needles, I have never had an IV before, and so the idea made me somewhat nervous. But, once the needle was in my arm and I was given the morphine, it didn't seem to matter. I immediately began very tired, dizzy and the pain seemed to subside. About forty minutes later, they brought me some water to see if I could drink it, and once again, the pain returned. Thankfully, so did the morphine. After another shot of Maylanta (which I still could not keep down) they brought a new anti-acid drug which they attached to my IV. After another hour, I felt so much better. I was able to drink water without discomfort. Hurrah! Soon afterwards I was released. It was 10:30 am. I must say, before I conclude that my ER doctor was a very nice, considerate and helpful man. I appreciate all of the care extended by both him and the nursing staff.

Although, it was not exactly the best weekend ever, I am grateful to God that it wasn't something for more serious that would have required more immediate and drastic action (because it could have been). I am grateful for the ER staff who were all very helpful, attentive and compassionate. I am grateful for my sister and for Jane, who were both so understanding of my situation and willing to sacrifice most of their Friday evening to afford me some comfort. I am grateful to all of my loving friends at school, Church, theatre, and home group who have so diligently prayed for me this weekend. I am grateful to my dad for sitting up with me at all hours of the morning, taking me to the ER, sitting next to me and making fun of "Anaconda II" in the lobby, and holding my hand when I would go through a spasm of pain. Thank you Lord for the situations in our lives that may not be pleasant (or may even be extremely difficult) for us to live through, but help us to recognize the grace and love you extend towards your children, and to recognize the support of the friends and family around us who truly care for us. Thank you God for the moments of utter joy and contentment, but also for times of trial and pain. We need not fear. You are there.