A Few Reflections on Love

"If i loved you...then i would love you in any way that i could and if we could not touch then i would draw strength from your beauty and if i went blind then i would fill my soul with the sound of your voice and the contents of your thoughts until the last spark of my love for you lit the shabby darkness of my dying mind..."

-Alfredo from "Pushing Daisies"

"Now, fie upon my false French! By mine honour, in
true English, I love thee, Kate: by which honour I
dare not swear thou lovest me; yet my blood begins to
flatter me that thou dost, notwithstanding the poor
and untempering effect of my visage. Now, beshrew
my father's ambition! he was thinking of civil wars
when he got me: therefore was I created with a
stubborn outside, with an aspect of iron, that, when
I come to woo ladies, I fright them. But, in faith,
Kate, the elder I wax, the better I shall appear:
my comfort is, that old age, that ill layer up of
beauty, can do no more, spoil upon my face: thou
hast me, if thou hast me, at the worst; and thou
shalt wear me, if thou wear me, better and better:
and therefore tell me, most fair Katharine, will you
have me? Put off your maiden blushes; avouch the
thoughts of your heart with the looks of an empress;
take me by the hand, and say 'Harry of England I am
thine:' which word thou shalt no sooner bless mine
ear withal, but I will tell thee aloud 'England is
thine, Ireland is thine, France is thine, and Harry
Plantagenet is thine;' who though I speak it before
his face, if he be not fellow with the best king,
thou shalt find the best king of good fellows.
Come, your answer in broken music; for thy voice is
music and thy English broken; therefore, queen of
all, Katharine, break thy mind to me in broken
English; wilt thou have me?"

-Henry from "Henry the V"

"I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death -- and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.
I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed.
Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.
The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me - perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.
Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.
But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night -- amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours - always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by."
Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.

-Sullivan Ballou (Ballou was killed a week later at the first Battle of Bull Run, July 21, 1861)

It only takes a moment....

Seriously, my family watched this movie today. I think it has become one of my all time favorite Pixar films. Each one of their subsequent endeavors results in something deeply moving and fantastically visually stunning. Despite being, essentially, a box with binocular eyes, Walle- expresses a wealth of emotions through the simple (and often subtle) movements of his eyes and the hums and beeps of his voice. How can you get any better than an adorable robot who has a passion for "Hello Dolly?" I ask you. The answer? Not much better. Additionally, through the animator's careful craftsmanship, you are able to connect with this little robot on so many other levels: his undying curiosity, his concern and devotion to others, his frustration, and finally his quest for true love.

I think critics of this film who complain that this film tries too hard to push an agenda are missing something magical. It's not just a film about the revitalization of Earth by being environmentally friendly (which is definitely important for our generation to hear), but about the wonderfully sweet romance between Wall-e and Eve. In the film, when it comes down to it, Eve is willing to sacrifice her directive to save Wall-e. And although he reminds her of her duty, I think this is an important point. We can't simply think about saving humanity without thinking about the individuals who need our help. Maybe I'm missing something or reading too much into it, but I think that is one of the most important messages that this moving film communicates. Plus, those who think that its "Go Green!" message ruins their perception of the rest of the film, I would ask you first to reconsider why you are so perturbed by this message. It's important for us to be good stewards of our world and to do our part to make the world clean and habitable. The Captain in the film points out that its not about just surviving, its about living and that though there may be some costs, we should still strive to make our world, or more simply our lives better. I'm glad to see a children's movie saying something so meaningful. Secondly, I would implore you to watch the film again and enjoy the interactions between its two main protagonists.... so sweet. Please. It only takes a moment....

Emmanuel Has Come!

Veni, veni Emmanuel!
Captivum solve Israel!
Qui gemit in exilio,
Privatus Dei Filio,
Gaude, gaude, Emmanuel
Nascetur pro te, Israel.
Veni, veni o oriens!
Solare nos adveniens,
Noctis depelle nebulas,
Dirasque noctis tenebras.
Gaude, gaude Emmanuel
Nascetur pro te, Israel.

Veni, veni Adonai!
Qui populo in Sinai
Legem dedisti vertice,
In Maiestate gloriae.
Gaude, gaude Emmanuel
Nascetur pro te Israel.

Merry Christmas to you all. Praise Christ on this glorious day.

Where there's a whip, there's a way!

Okay. I know. I post a lot of youtube videos here. But there are so many horrifically wonderful things that I just cannot help sharing with you all. I promise to post something meaningful soon. But in the mean time.....
If my last post didn't scare the wits out of you, BEHOLD!!!! From the 1980 Rankin-Bass animated Return of the King, the orcs singing "Where there's a whip, there's a way":


Catchy, isn't it?! AUGHHHH!!!! It's been haunting Marisa and I for the last two days!!!! I think I'm slowly going insane... hahaHAHAHAffughejrngjefbvekbsibfhefihgejbfbbjjfvjdbkjbkjkkkkkkkkkkkkk............... woah. Alright, I'm back. ehehm. Seriously, go watch this whole movie. It follows the books pretty closely, but the music and the animation style are just plain frightening. So. Frightening. You'll understand once you watch it, but I nearly died when I read one comment about Denethor that said "And so we discover that Snowwhite's witch didn't really disappear.. she became Denethor." So as a bonus!!!!


Now you must watch the whole thing. You try to look away, but it calls your name... heehee.....

It wasn't the drugs....

It was this. Oh, The Sixties.... this is what made you so trippy....

I am feeling sickly and this absolutely just made my night. Words cannot express how absolutely amazing this is. If you do nothing else with your evening, watch this. It is life changing!!! Ok, maybe not, but it comes pretty close.

Elementary, Dear Watson!

So, I'm not really sure how I came upon this, but earlier today I found out that director Guy Ritchie is in the process of shooting a new film adaptation of the beloved Sherlock Holmes mysteries set to release in 2009. Now, while I have absolutely no objections to Robert Downey Jr. (I deeply respect his talent and skill), or to Jude Law, but as the brilliant detective and his astute doctoral companion, I just REALLY do not think that they are adequate:


In fact, it kinda makes me very indignant. I think this is mostly because I am a purist. Yes, a purist to the written works themselves, but also to the flawless portrayal of Holmes' character by the incomparable Jeremy Brett.


Jeremy Brett (seen above with the amazing David Burke as Doctor Watson [later replaced by the equally as astounding Edward Hardwick]) is the definitive Sherlock Holmes. It seems almost superfluous to try and recreate the character of Holmes when it has been already imagined and realized so perfectly. I just feel that Downey and Law will be unable to meet the precedent Brett and Hardwick set long before....
However, as the great detective said himself, "The temptation to form premature theories upon insufficient data is the bane of our profession.” So perhaps I shall just have resign myself to believing that maybe it won't be as horrific as I think it is going to be.....

Pushing of the Daisies

Last year, thanks to the promptings of a good friend, I discovered the magic of the television show Pushing Daisies. It is a truly magical series, filling your heart with beauty, warmth, love, and a delicious cherry filling. The show centers around one sad and lonely young man, Ned (played by the ridiculously adorable Lee Pace, who is also in my current favorite movie The Fall), who discovers at a young age that he has the power to bring dead things back to life. However, he also discovers that once he brings that dead thing back to life, he can only let it live for one minute or some other living thing in the near vicinity must die in its place. Also, if he ever touches the resurrected thing again, it would die forever, never to be brought back. He teams up with private investigator Emerson Cod who has discovered Ned's secret, and they solve murders by resurrecting the victims for one minute in order to get clues or identifications. The real plot twist comes in when Ned's childhood sweetheart, Chuck (or Charlotte Charles) has been murdered and he chooses to resurrect her for more than a minute, essentially giving her a second chance at life. The only thing is... they can't touch, otherwise he will have killed love of his life! Augh!

But cute-ness ensues. :)

Besides the witty writing, and the endearing characters, the visual aspects of this show are astounding. Every episode is filled with "Tim Burton-esque" aesthetics that give the audience a sense of wonder and playfulness. I highly recommend borrowing or buying the first season (though it was cut prematurely short by the writer's strike) and watching the second season on Wednesdays at 8pm on ABC. While its still on in any case. I just saw on the news that ABC has cut this show from their lineup next year. After the current season, Pushing Daisies will be gone. Finito. Good-bye-o. Adios. Sayonara. I am severely distressed. This show is a breath of fresh air amongst the otherwise toxic waste dump known as TV programming. GRRRR!!!!! I am... just.... so sad...

More Star Trek

Because I'm just THAT nerdy. Yep. When I go see this in theaters next May, I am going to wear my awesome homemade shirt with the command insignia that I stitched onto it. Yes I will. I mean come on. I'm totally prepared for all the weird and disdainful looks. It couldn't be much worse than dressing in a Star Wars shirt, Dwight Schrute glasses, braiding a small strand of hair by my neck and going to see Clone Wars right? Right? And while Clone Wars is a pretty epic film in itself, (can you say Jabba the Hutt's gay uncle Ziro the Hutt, who sounds like Truman Capote?? HECK YES! mmhh...ehem....) I think I can safely say this looks much more epic:



I'm really excited and yet... kinda hesitant. I hope it's good...

Sometimes...

don't you feel like this? That's what I thought...
:)

Just to name a few...

Okay. I know. I haven't posted in a REALLY long time.



Well, anyways.... My time has been consumed by school. College is super exciting and also scary. There are so many awesome new people to meet and so many awesome things to learn, think about and discuss. However, for me, I'm still at a place of uncertainty, and I guess that's what makes the whole experience just a little scary. I'm caught between two different paths and very unsure of which way to go. I feel frustrated with myself because I am unable to choose which direction I want to go, and I feel frustrated because I feel sometimes I have to live up to my own expectations and the expectations of others. But I don't want to feel this way anymore. I want to go and just try some new things. I want to honor God through the talents and gifts he has bestowed upon me. I want to continue to grow and mature as a person, to learn to love better, and to be willing to sacrifice my pre-conceived notions in favor of recognizing God's truth. And hopefully, to have some fun along the way.

On a somewhat happier note, here are some things that have made me very happy recently:

I watched this movie last night and was reminded of how absolutely amazing it truly is. Its a movie called "Spirited Away" by the Japanese master of animation Hayao Miyazaki. I love all of his films (at least the ones I've seen), but "Spirited Away" has a special place in my heart. In this film Miyazaki takes his audience to a "Alice in Wonderland" slash "Wizard of Oz" type of world inhabited by an assortment of strange yet beautiful landscapes and endearing characters. "Spirited Away" forces us to look at the world in a more mature way (just like its heroine Chihiro), but allows us to maintain our child-like wonder. I'm not a huge fan of anime, but Miyazaki's films are, to put it simply, masterpieces.

For a couple friends (we've had this stuck in our heads for two days!):

                            

Seriously, how awesome is Mr. Tilney? If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please go read "Northanger Abbey." Do it. Do it NOW!! :)


I decided I'm going to re-read either "Lord of the Rings" or "The Hobbit" over interterm. So excited!!! I just have to survive the rest of this semester... ha.. ha... yeah... but I'm working on an video art project right now that I am excited about working on, so hopefully it will turn out well... if it does, maybe I'll post it on here. I just finished a stop-motion animation recently as well... and hopefully I can post that too. It was actually pretty difficult to do within the time constraints imposed upon me. I basically did all of it (except shoot the photos) in one straight 8 hour period in the computer lab at school. My eyes really hurt by the end of the day....

I've decided I'm a hippie at heart. I went to an awesome place on Friday with some friends called "The Lab." It's a bohemian-ish "anti-mall" down in Costa Mesa with a few boutiques and a cafe called "The Gypsy Den." Quite frankly, it awesome. I love funky clothes, indie-retro stuff, folk music (Cat Steven!) and Man, I am such a hippie....


While at "The Lab," my friends and I were reading some beautiful poetry. Blows my mind:

Men's curiosity searches past and future
And clings to that dimension. But to apprehend
The point of intersection of the timeless
With time, is an occupation for the saint—
No occupation either, but something given
And taken, in a lifetime's death in love,
Ardour and selflessness and self-surrender.
For most of us, there is only the unattended
Moment, the moment in and out of time,
The distraction fit, lost in a shaft of sunlight,
The wild thyme unseen, or the winter lightning
Or the waterfall, or music heard so deeply
That it is not heard at all, but you are the music
While the music lasts. These are only hints and guesses,
Hints followed by guesses; and the rest
Is prayer, observance, discipline, thought and action.
The hint half guessed, the gift half understood, is Incarnation.
Here the impossible union
Of spheres of existence is actual,
Here the past and future
Are conquered, and reconciled,
Where action were otherwise movement
Of that which is only moved
And has in it no source of movement—
Driven by daemonic, chthonic
Powers. And right action is freedom
From past and future also.
For most of us, this is the aim
Never here to be realised;
Who are only undefeated
Because we have gone on trying;
We, content at the last
If our temporal reversion nourish
(Not too far from the yew-tree)
The life of significant soil.

-T.S. Eliot from "The Dry Salvages"

Modern Hitchcock

I found these while surfing the web yesterday. Whoever thought of this photo shoot was an absolute genius. So here are a few of my favorite images from "Vanity Fair's" Hitchcock tribute:

Gwyneth Paltrow and Robert Downey Jr. as Grace Kelley and Carry Grant in "To Catch a Thief":
  
  

Scarlett Johansson and Javier Bardem as Grace Kelley and Jimmy Stewart in "Rear Window":

                    

Emile Hirsch and James MacAvoy as Farley Granger and Robert Walker in "Strangers on a Train":

            

Kiera Knightley and Jennifer Jason Leigh as Joan Fontaine and Judith Anderson in "Rebecca" :

                    

End of the Year Reflections

Yes. I know. I'm kinda, ok... REALLY, late in getting these up here. But I felt I should share a little bit of how my senior year has been.

I've learned countless lessons this year that you cannot find in the average public high school textbook. I learned how to be a leader, to discipline myself to commit and apply myself to a task (even if no one is breathing down my neck), to take responsibility in difficult situations, to stand unafraid in the face of judgement, to present myself well at an audition or job interview, speak confidently about my faith when there's a great chance I will be ridiculed or shot down, and finally to learn to take risks. I'm not professing myself to be an expert in any of these fields, but with God's help, I feel that I have matured and grown in ways hitherto undeveloped or suppressed by my own timidity or inexperience.

Let's begin with literature.
I won't say a WHOLE lot on this subject (because trust me, I could ramble on and on). Because I graduated from Torrey Academy last year, but still had one more year of English to complete, my mother and I decided to have me read a diverse selection of great classics. Without my Torrey "family," I will admit I felt kinda like a shipwreck victim set afloat on a rickety raft in the middle of a vast and tumultuous ocean. Nevertheless, despite the fear, there was much beauty to discover in that ocean. I began with the Greeks (The Iliad, The Three Theban Plays, etc.) and eventually worked my way to late 18th century European literature (The Brothers Karamazov, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde). I struggled through some of the denser books, and I guess this is where I was reminded (though I have been taught this many times in my years of Torrey) that though a book may prove difficult to finish, once you are done, you may discover that you have learned and discovered more that you originally thought. Such was the case when I read The Fountainheadd by Ayn Rand. The reading was not difficult, but I struggled to finish this book because my religious and moral convictions were constantly at war with Rand's ideals and philosophy. I did finish it: all 700 pages. But I think I learned more about the discernment of false ideas, and how to, as Aristotle put it, "entertain a thought without accepting it." However, most of the books I read this year I enjoyed so much, I could not put them down. Such was the case when I read The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I absolutely loved Hugo's style (due in part to the lovely and readable translation I have) and the beauty of his prose both astounded and moved me deeply.

Next, we'll move on to theater:
In theater, this whole year has been a roller-coaster experience. I'm sure most of you have read about my experiences during our fall production of Godspell. As a sort of postscript to that entry, I would like to add a small story that happened recently. The seniors were all asked to speak during the intermission the shows for our spring production of Annie Get Your Gun the Revival about our experiences during our time at BYT. I chose to speak about what God has taught me at BYT. In short, I talked about how I learned to trust God, citing my experiences during Godspell as an example. I feel that despite all the pressure and responsibility placed on me during that show, I was extremely blessed by it, and by all the dancers I was leading. Well, during our BYT graduation, I ran into the girl I had replaced as dance captain during Godspell. We chatted for a second and then she added that she had seen me speak at the performance the other night. Then she added that as I talked, she felt like God was telling her that this was the ultimate reason she stepped down; so that I could have the amazing experience I did, and be blessed by God. Then we both started crying. Anyways, this past semester brought new perspective and, of course, lessons of its own as I performed as Dolly Tate in Annie Get Your Gun the Revivall. Its still difficult for me to think about this past show partly because it all happened so recently, partly because I'm still processing it all, and thirdly it all just seems so surreal right now. So, here a picture. :)

Ok.. dude... I loved this dress... isn't it fantastic. Its so showy and sequin-y! One little boy told me it looked like a diamond mine threw up on me...

Next on the menu is art:
Well, this has also been a topsy-turvy matter as well. Last year, as again many of you will know, I participated in a program called Ryman Arts. I was very privileged and blessed to have been able to participate in the program and I hoped to continue my entire senior year. However, because of the demands of rehearsals for BYT, I had to drop out during the fall semester. This greatly disappointed me, but like always, God knows what is best. When the spring semester rolled around, I was able to participate in both BYT and Ryman. To say the least, this class was somewhat different than the Beginning class the previous year. Firstly, the beginning class mainly focused on the basic principles of drawing (perspective, shading, chiaroscuro, color etc) whereas the Intermediate class focused on the drawing of the form (either with pencil, charcoal, or even watercolor). We therefore had many live models of both genders... clothed and unclothed, but mostly the latter. I have found that when I tell people about this experience (mostly in warnings to uber-conservative parents interested in Ryman), that they are infinitely more weirded out than I was.... Anyways... secondly, I must say that I really appreciated my teacher, David. He was honest and sometimes very brutal in critiques, but he helped me to greatly improve my work through his diligence to excellence and unbridled creativity. I am grateful for his passion for art and for imparting even of a little of that passion to my own burgeoning creativity. I also felt like God was pushing on me to reach out to David (who openly expressed his anti-religious sentiments) and to my classmates, not by shoving a Bible down their throats, but by simply talking to them, being kind and considerate and even discussing my faith if asked. Every week I would try to be and do all those things, and I ended up with several new friends and a teacher who may not have agreed with me on religion, but who liked and respected me. Here are a piece I photographed before I turned it in:
This is a still life I drew with my feet... you read it right... I put the charcoal between my feet.. and.. never mind...


Besides Ryman, I also participated in the Spotlight Awards, hosted by the Music Center of Los Angeles. I at first applied for their opera competition, but did not qualify for the next round. I then found out about their fin art competition and submitted a photography piece I had been working on. The next thing I knew I had made it past the first round of reviews and was asked to come to the Music Center and participate in a portfolio review with several high-ranking professional photographers (one had worked closely with Stanley Kubrick and Baz Lurhmann if that gives you an idea). This understandably, scared me out of my wits. But I swallowed my fears and went in with as much confidence as I could muster. To my own surprise, I was able to carry on a lengthy discussion on my work and answer all their questions without tripping myself up! Haha! Soon after I found out I was a semi-finalist and was having my work displayed at a gallery in LA. Even though I was not one of the two finalists, I had a simply amazing experience during the whole competition. All the employees and coordinators of the Spotlight Awards are all so understanding, courteous, and have given me many exciting opportunities (such as a master class with celebrated photographer Mark Edward Harris, and a scholarship to attend film classes at Art Center). My mother and I also received complementary tickets to attend the awards ceremony at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion:

Here is me outside the Dorothy Chandler... all dressed up.... :)

And here is my art up on the bid screen before the ceremony started.

I think that pretty much sums up a lot of what I've learned this year. I did plenty more (kept up with Latin, GRADUATED!!, another play, "A Romance to Remember" [in which I played an amazing Time Elf named Violet], wrote lots of essays, sewed my own prom dress, and watched many films and wrote essays on a few [for a class]). If you've gotten this far, thank you. I have had an eventful year and wanted to share some of it with you all. I am excited as I reflect back on all I have learned and look forward to applying it as I head of to college next year. I wonder what I will be able to write at the end of next year. :)

Classic Movies

I have always loved classic films. I know I have said this in a previous post, but I guess I can't seem to say it enough. Whenever my sister and I would have the opportunity to go to the store and rent movies, we experienced an automatic magnetism towards the old Hollywood classics. Fred Astaire, Carry Grant, Gene Kelley, Judy Garland, Bob Hope were (and are) well worn and well loved names in our household. During this past year, I have begun to view more films considered by fans and film critics alike to be among the greatest movies of all time. I have also come into an appreciation of author and critic Roger Ebert. Besides being the only film critic to ever win the Pulitzer Prize for Journalism, he is an extremely well educated writer, who provides his audience with a tasteful mixture of wit, intellectualism and simplicity. He is able to captivate the reader and broaden their understanding and appreciation of film, without insulting them by sounding snobby. For my mother, who loves to watch these films with me, for you, dear reader, that you may captivated by these amazing films and by the essays of Ebert, I have posted only a few clips from among many iconic classics. Enjoy!

Sunset Boulevard:



The Third Man:



The Night of the Hunter:



A Hard Day's Night:

Isaiah 55:6-13

"Seek the LORD while He may be found;
Call upon Him while He is near.
Let the wicked forsake his way
And the unrighteous man his thoughts;
And let him return to the LORD,
And He will have compassion on him,
And to our God,
For He will abundantly pardon.
'For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,' declares the LORD.
'For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
And do not return there without watering the earth
And making it bear and sprout,
And furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater;
So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth;
It will not return to Me empty,
Without accomplishing what I desire,
And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.
For you will go out with joy
And be led forth with peace;
The mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you,
And all the trees of the field will clap their hands.
Instead of the thorn bush the cypress will come up,
And instead of the nettle the myrtle will come up,
And it will be a memorial to the LORD,
For an everlasting sign which will not be cut off.'"

Dance Macabre

This is pretty awesome. For any of you "Prisoner" fans out there.



"Dance Macabre" by Carmel Morris

Grace Amidst Pain

Most of you who read my blog already know what transpired this weekend, but I thought I would write about it, simply because I have explained the situation to so many people already this week, but have not had time to really talk about my experience. I don't recount any of this to incite a pity party or simply to make you feel sorry for me. I just want to be able to explain to anyone who cares what actually happened, and to process this experience.

It started on Friday evening when my sister, Jane and I went out to dinner. I have suffered from chronic acid reflux in the last few years, but it has never been serious enough for my doctor to have any major concerns. When we began eating, I felt extremely normal. But after a few bites I began to feel the familiar burning sensation in my throat and immediately ran to the bathroom, where, on a normal day, I simply pace about until the burning subsides. This was not a normal day however. I will spare you the grotesque details, but needless to say I vomited. A lot. And experienced a pain level for the acid burning that was entirely new to me. I tried to drink some water from the faucet. My body simply rejected it. Thankfully there weren't a whole lot of people in the restaurant who needed to use the bathroom. I was in there for a full half hour. It finally began to settle and I was able to rejoin my rather anxious party. I found my glass of water still sitting on the table. I wanted so badly to drink it, but fear of repeating the scene I had so recently concluded prevented me at first. However I eventually summoned the courage and took a sip. I was alright. I thought that the worst had past. I soon realized that I was actually quite hungry because I really hadn't had anything to eat. We drove to downtown Brea to see if we could catch a movie, but the stupid theatre had awful show times. We walked across the street to Coldstone Ice Cream, where I convinced my sister to buy me a "second dinner." What a horrible choice I made just then. Not only to try and eat again so soon, but to guilt my sister into spending money she couldn't spend. The first few bites were fine. But then the burning and pain followed. It was happening all over again. I asked the girls if we could just go home, and they readily agreed. After about another half hour, the pain died down, but it remained minimally; flaring up once in a while. When I went to bed, I couldn't sleep. I finally couldn't stand the pain any longer and went and woke up may dad at about 2 am. He went out to the store and bought some Maylanta, hoping it would help. Once again, I couldn't keep the Maylanta or water down and my dad decided it was time to take me to the emergency room.

Even at 3 am, we still had quite a wait to get into the ER. Although, admittedly it was a Friday night/Saturday morning. Need I say more? Anyways, we sat in the lobby for a while, mindlessly watching the lobby television as it played one of the worst movies ever to waste film: "Anaconda II." But, at least it kept me preoccupied. When I was finally ushered into a ER room, the nurse came and gave me some more Maylanta with some Lidocaine in it to help reduce the acid and dull the pain. However, once I drank it, it immediately and exponentially magnified the pain. The doctor arrived soon, realizing how much pain I was in and that I was dehydrated, ordered an IV and some morphine. Although I am not frightened of needles, I have never had an IV before, and so the idea made me somewhat nervous. But, once the needle was in my arm and I was given the morphine, it didn't seem to matter. I immediately began very tired, dizzy and the pain seemed to subside. About forty minutes later, they brought me some water to see if I could drink it, and once again, the pain returned. Thankfully, so did the morphine. After another shot of Maylanta (which I still could not keep down) they brought a new anti-acid drug which they attached to my IV. After another hour, I felt so much better. I was able to drink water without discomfort. Hurrah! Soon afterwards I was released. It was 10:30 am. I must say, before I conclude that my ER doctor was a very nice, considerate and helpful man. I appreciate all of the care extended by both him and the nursing staff.

Although, it was not exactly the best weekend ever, I am grateful to God that it wasn't something for more serious that would have required more immediate and drastic action (because it could have been). I am grateful for the ER staff who were all very helpful, attentive and compassionate. I am grateful for my sister and for Jane, who were both so understanding of my situation and willing to sacrifice most of their Friday evening to afford me some comfort. I am grateful to all of my loving friends at school, Church, theatre, and home group who have so diligently prayed for me this weekend. I am grateful to my dad for sitting up with me at all hours of the morning, taking me to the ER, sitting next to me and making fun of "Anaconda II" in the lobby, and holding my hand when I would go through a spasm of pain. Thank you Lord for the situations in our lives that may not be pleasant (or may even be extremely difficult) for us to live through, but help us to recognize the grace and love you extend towards your children, and to recognize the support of the friends and family around us who truly care for us. Thank you God for the moments of utter joy and contentment, but also for times of trial and pain. We need not fear. You are there.

Captain's Log.

Star date -314818.0783242258 (and yes, this is the real star date for March 7, 2008 at 2:00 pm [even though blogger says its 3pm, its actually 2pm...]). I have never really been into the idea of "Star Trek:The Original Series." It always seemed so overdone and almost... if I may say it..... plain stupid. I was also under the impression that those who enjoyed "Star Wars" (I count myself among that number), were always the mortal enemies of the Trekkies. I was wrong. My parents had tried to introduce my sister and I to the show when we were younger, but I must admit that I failed to recognize its true genius. Recently I discovered you can watch full episodes online at CBS's website, and so one day I just decided to watch one. It was absolutely amazing!! The show can be both comical and dramatic, and always somewhat predictable. But its predictability almost doesn't seem to matter. The ingenuity, the characters, and even the often campy plot lines, make the show wonderfully fun and enjoyable to watch. So to all of you out there who think you are too good for "Star Trek", maybe you should think again. I did, and now I am officially a Trekkie.
:)

Classic Comedy Genius

What can I say? I love old films. I love their charm, beauty and wit. I also have a special place in my heart for classic comedic films. The genius of the Marx Brothers, of films like "Some Like it Hot," "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World," and "Arsenic and Old Lace" cannot be paralleled. For those of you who read my blog but have not had the opportunity or inclination to see such films, here is a small taste. I hope you will be able to appreciate the utter genius of all of these scenes and that they will inspire you to see the films.

From "Some Like it Hot":


From "Duck Soup":


And from "Arsenic and Old Lace": (this scene is somewhat long, but Cary Grant is fantastic)